He barged into our hostel room. I continued looking into my notes. Paying attention to Jogi would mean that I would be drained of the little bit confidence that was left in me. It had become more of an unspoken rule within our group. Shut down your hearing aids once Jogi starts with his arbit. I generally don’t virtually boycott someone to this extent, but with Jogi you simply cant help it. This guy can’t stop raving about his abilities. He is simply in awe about his being “Jogi”! God…..i don’t know if they still make items like him, but if they do….then I can very well relate to the misery of all whom this storm consumes in its wake.
I had only heard about him in my first week at the School of Management. But I had to witness it to believe the phenomenon called “Jogi”. He had topped the “Fainku list” in the very first week of his arrival and according to the forecasting models this guy would be tough to beat in the coming two years. Such were the quality of his stories that you would want to kill yourself. Kill yourself for being a good for nothing mortal before this god’s own incarnation. I had my first brush with the “Great Jogi” when he was holding his “Bike Gyaan” session. The words of Jogi still ring in my ears. I had tried to propogate the social message, “Hearing Jogi is injurious to your logical senses”, for the whole of next month with great success. Jogi in his casual style had remarked how well he rode his Pulsar back home. Vineet had happened to mention how his cousin had slipped while attempting acrobatics while riding the bike and Jogi had taken off from there. “You should take extra care man!! You should only attempt such stuff when you have perfected the fine art of biking. And perfection comes with practice. You will be shocked to hear this, but it is true. I have never had a fall in life. Even when I had just started walking, I was the only child in the neighbourhood who was free of bruises that came with falls. Such was my command over walking and running is what my mother claims. My dad had insisted on me riding the bicycle for the first time with the stoppers on, but would I relent? I took to my cycle and later on to my bike as fish to water. Even to this date, kids of Jhangotia Nagar Housing Colony are in awe of me yaar. Why wouldn’t they be? Where else could they see such great stunts getting performed for free? Ohhhhhh…that reminds of the great stunt I performed last time around. There is a steep slope in our society, friends! I raced up in full speed and jumped off the bike letting the bike go. The bike reached the top, swirled and returned in the while I was descending. I think you will appreciate the calculation I had made which enabled me to be air borne all the while this happened. Also note the skill with which I let the bike go which was coming back to me as if in a trance. In the next second, I was atop it. I had performed this stunt just like that, but was shocked to see the people who had accidentally seen me doing the stuff applauding. It spread like wildfire yaar. As if I was not famous!! This made my getting out of my home for the next few months an impossible task. I would be hounded wherever I went. I can very well imagine the plight of celebrities yaar….your fans murder you with love and adulation!! I so wanted to have my first fall that day…..but alas, it was not to be. Nothing can beat perfection yaar. Sometimes I feel so out of place coz of this yaar…I am soooo perfect man….i donno how!! But I am……hey enough of me, Tell me something about yourself Balu?” I was gaping at him with my mouth wide open. I bet a lot of mosquitoes would have made my mouth their abode that day. I excused myself and left the room. I was in no mental state to tell anything about myself. “Shit man, he is such a big Fainku.”, I thought. “This shithole can go on and on blabbering about him man….God, please save my ass whenever I have to cross swords with this demi-God. Give this mortal strength.”, I was laughing in my room. What was he, Rajnikanth’s reincarnation to real life?? God makes some samples!! A week later Vineet’s message flashed on my cell. I did not know whether to laugh or frown on reading the message. It read like this, “Jogi Bhogi sat on a bike…….Jogi Bhogi whom we don’t like….Jogi Bhogi racing to the cinema hall…..Jogi Bhogi had a great FALL….P.S.: Nothing serious…just a few “Virgin” bruises…cheers!!”
Showing posts with label Funny incidents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny incidents. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Mission: Identify "GAP's" & get them filled!!!
Everyone wanted to establish himself. Every single soul you met was more than eager to mingle. The orientation week was being billed as “Gelling Week” among us. The handsome hunks & the cute gals were the first to be approached by the respective opposite sexes. The desire to get to know the maximum people and get to know their strengths and weaknesses would be of immense help once the grill would start after a fortnight. In all this mayhem, who was to notice a dark skinned tall guy! SRCC, LSR, Hindu and other Delhi University local gals were the prize catch. I was not the instant attention grabber to have the eyeballs veering towards my side, every time I walked through the hallowed corridors of the school of management. Adding on to it, I was an introvert. I simply can’t go to someone and start off a conversation just for the heck of it. I am more comfortable when someone comes down and chats and can take it ahead from there. I was no Greek God either to make them come down to me to start off a conversation!
Necessity becomes pregnant and ideas are born. We won’t discuss as to how necessity got pregnant in the first place. But I can reveal one thing…..the entire process to becoming a father to that “idea” is forced rather than being consensual. The ideas borne entirely depend on the physical fitness of the mass residing in the topmost drawer of the person responsible for making poor “necessity” pregnant. I am not among the chosen ones whom god had decided to bless with a superior brain. Necessity had started carrying the very first week of my arrival primarily due to two reasons. Seeing so many beautiful and intelligent lasses at one place as well as the deprivation from proximity to this race coming from a small engineering college added up to fuel the necessity!
I came up with an idea…and down the line I can say that it helped. For idea’s to be born, you need to see the opportunities and grab them. Opportunities can only be tapped if you are aware of your strengths and apply them. My strength was never going to the fairer sex and blabbering off. But as discussed earlier, I was at ease if someone started off a conversation and I could take it on from there! I was quick to notice that in the orientation we would be sitting in a random fashion and were free to sit anywhere. This freedom would soon be snatched once sections will be formed and we will be destined to sit between, say a roll no. 32 and 34!! Consider yourself condemned to death if no. 32 and 34 turn out to be males!! I teamed up with Rishabh, another of those frustrated souls for whom engineering had been all studies and no interactions!! We gave this mission of ours a name. Project “GAP”. GAP had nothing to do with the management jargons a consultant generally uses. Ours was for our own social betterment!! We would come down to our classes after grabbing a quick bite 10 minutes before other people would start pouring in, and take our seats. The thing to be noted here is that the germination of the idea lay in the fashion of our seating. Rishabh and I started sitting leaving a seat in between us. This gave us the authority to direct traffic moving on to our side. We had also noticed that the localites were the ones who entered into the class at the last minute after their share of gossiping and catching up. And till the time they entered almost all the good seats would be taken up. The only best seats left would be the one in between both of us. Though this would cater to only one girl at a time, we beggars would never say no to whatever dime came our side! Our effort of taking our seats and blocking the one in between would bear the maximum result with this target group, according to our initial brainstorming. We had planned it to such precision that we were dictating who would sit with us for the whole of coming week. There are bound to be small discussions with your neighbors whenever a complex problem or case is being discussed. We would clear their doubts with ease, because we already knew that to create an impression you need to stamp your credentials as an intelligent fellow. After the initial impression is created, latter errors would be regarded as a small thing! We would prepare well for every class to be in a position to solve whatever basic queries could arise! In a week, we were hanging out with the Rita’s & Anoushka’s of the class. We would offer our services to explain different ways the solution to the problem could be arrived at after the class and would keep the competition at bay in the canteen as well. Quite painful on the mental front for us, but we knew that we only had to put in a week of this academic effort to form our base!! The competition does not take long to decipher your strategy and launch their product to mar yours…but they were so dazed to react and understand the kind of show these innocent looking jerks were putting up that by the time they reacted, we were in the phone books of the high profile gals that mattered!! Cheers to our Project “GAP”….
Necessity becomes pregnant and ideas are born. We won’t discuss as to how necessity got pregnant in the first place. But I can reveal one thing…..the entire process to becoming a father to that “idea” is forced rather than being consensual. The ideas borne entirely depend on the physical fitness of the mass residing in the topmost drawer of the person responsible for making poor “necessity” pregnant. I am not among the chosen ones whom god had decided to bless with a superior brain. Necessity had started carrying the very first week of my arrival primarily due to two reasons. Seeing so many beautiful and intelligent lasses at one place as well as the deprivation from proximity to this race coming from a small engineering college added up to fuel the necessity!
I came up with an idea…and down the line I can say that it helped. For idea’s to be born, you need to see the opportunities and grab them. Opportunities can only be tapped if you are aware of your strengths and apply them. My strength was never going to the fairer sex and blabbering off. But as discussed earlier, I was at ease if someone started off a conversation and I could take it on from there! I was quick to notice that in the orientation we would be sitting in a random fashion and were free to sit anywhere. This freedom would soon be snatched once sections will be formed and we will be destined to sit between, say a roll no. 32 and 34!! Consider yourself condemned to death if no. 32 and 34 turn out to be males!! I teamed up with Rishabh, another of those frustrated souls for whom engineering had been all studies and no interactions!! We gave this mission of ours a name. Project “GAP”. GAP had nothing to do with the management jargons a consultant generally uses. Ours was for our own social betterment!! We would come down to our classes after grabbing a quick bite 10 minutes before other people would start pouring in, and take our seats. The thing to be noted here is that the germination of the idea lay in the fashion of our seating. Rishabh and I started sitting leaving a seat in between us. This gave us the authority to direct traffic moving on to our side. We had also noticed that the localites were the ones who entered into the class at the last minute after their share of gossiping and catching up. And till the time they entered almost all the good seats would be taken up. The only best seats left would be the one in between both of us. Though this would cater to only one girl at a time, we beggars would never say no to whatever dime came our side! Our effort of taking our seats and blocking the one in between would bear the maximum result with this target group, according to our initial brainstorming. We had planned it to such precision that we were dictating who would sit with us for the whole of coming week. There are bound to be small discussions with your neighbors whenever a complex problem or case is being discussed. We would clear their doubts with ease, because we already knew that to create an impression you need to stamp your credentials as an intelligent fellow. After the initial impression is created, latter errors would be regarded as a small thing! We would prepare well for every class to be in a position to solve whatever basic queries could arise! In a week, we were hanging out with the Rita’s & Anoushka’s of the class. We would offer our services to explain different ways the solution to the problem could be arrived at after the class and would keep the competition at bay in the canteen as well. Quite painful on the mental front for us, but we knew that we only had to put in a week of this academic effort to form our base!! The competition does not take long to decipher your strategy and launch their product to mar yours…but they were so dazed to react and understand the kind of show these innocent looking jerks were putting up that by the time they reacted, we were in the phone books of the high profile gals that mattered!! Cheers to our Project “GAP”….
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