The Fog

“You will fly away in an hour. I will miss you Mr. Goluraam. You really have to go? Can’t you stay back?”

“It’s not that I don’t wish to, my sweety pie BhonduKali. But I have no choice”

“One year!! My Golu will be away from me for a whole year. Don’t go sweety! Please stay back naa. I can’t even imagine one whole year without you daa”

“Bhondu my love….You think I won’t miss you. I would, every second. Just think of it as a test before we start our lives together.”

“Golu. I am not that strong dear. You know that. And I don’t want to give any tests. Not at the expense of staying away from you. I can’t refrain myself from making a call to you every now and then for silly things. And here you are, going away for one whole year! Please don’t go!”

“Who said I am going away my Bhondu? I am right here. With you… In your thoughts... In your dreams”

“I can’t survive on just thoughts and dreams of my Golu. I simply can’t. You complete me. In every sense. Without you, I am like a body without a soul. You will find more beautiful girls than me there in States. One year is long enough for you to forget all about my existence. I will lose you. Please don’t go”

“Who said your soul is leaving you jaan? Can you come outside and look towards the sky from your balcony?”

“From my balcony? At this hour of the night? Have you gone nuts? Why do you want me to do that? It’s freezing outside”

“Do as I say Bhondu jaan? For me. Please. And I promise you won’t feel the cold. Mr. Golu da promise”

“I am here. Now what? It’s really foggy out here today. I can barely see the stars even. The moon is playing hide and seek as well”

“I know. Life is like that fog you see right now Bhondu. Acting as a veil between the stars and their admirers. You are the star jaan. And I am your admirer. I wish to see you sparkling and shining every moment. I want to bathe in your shine. And you shine brighter for your admirer. Blushing at all the attention and love you are being showered with from down here. And then all of a sudden, the fog comes in between us. That’s life playing its games. Everything else remains the same. It’s just the fog in between both of us. A temporary blindness. A state where the star is unsure about whether its admirer is still watching from down there and vice versa. It’s when the star will continue to shine brightly and sparkle hoping and wishing not to let her admirer down, if the fog lifts any moment, when we can say that their relationship has really matured. It’s about the feeling the star has that it has someone watching it from down below. It’s about the feeling the admirer has that he will catch his star twinkling brightly for him the moment this fog lifts. This feeling is called hope. This feeling is called desire to be one. This feeling is called love. Wait for the fog to lift. If our relationship was strong, if we were really meant to be, you would continue to twinkle brightly for me when this fog will lift after a year. And you will find me admiring your beauty and shine right here. Then we would have passed the test. Time will teach you to be strong jaan. Everything will be fine. Trust me”

“Goluuuuuu…I love you…”

“I love you too….See…the fog is already allowing you sneak peeks…he he…oooops…they have announced the boarding for my flight. I will miss you my star. Love you loads”

-------------------------------------------------------

The humour cuppa.....awaiting you....at Humour Shack

The humour side!

Friends...

I decided to gift myself a new blog after my 50th post here. Not that this one would be discontinued. The "yeM Bee yAe" would continue to churn out stories and everything it has been known for right from the beginning. Just that it gets a new brother today. A brother who is crazy. A brother who knows only the humourous side of life. A brother who is a total crackpot. A brother who is total fun to be with. A brother who complements the multi faceted "yeM Bee yAe" with its trademark humour. Welcome the brother "Humour Shack" into blogpuram.

I have always wanted to have a blog which will have only make people laugh. No sad stuff. Just plain humour posts. My brand of tongue in cheek humour. "yeM Bee yAe" will continue to be what it is. A place for my short stories, twisted humour series, philosophical rants and video posts. I hope you all love and follow "Humour Shack"......just the way you have loved and followed my other son, the "yeM Bee yAe"

Love you all......Keep rocking Blogpuram

And the 50th one!

50........50........50.......phew!

I agree friends...I agree....I have literally crawled my way through posts here in the past few months....Should have reached this milestone with a six like Sehwag always does....But I suddenly got all messed up and busy in work. You all would be happy to learn that the project I was working on with my agency Tribal DDB has won two bronze Abby awards (Advertising awards) at the Goa fest yesterday. We won in the categories of "Mobile Innovation" and "Direct Response". You can check out the interactive website www.ideacellular.com/roadies , which kept me away but which helped us win laurels at the Abby awards. I hope all of you would forgive me for not being that active at this place i call my second home because of the workload. I wanted to share my happiness with all of you and here I am. Penning away to glory. My 50th post!

I have formed a big gang of online friends in the course of this journey of mine. A blog which started off just to understand how a "blog" functions, saw me cooking up stories, humour n a lil bit of everything I always wanted to pen. I enjoyed cooking up plots for my short stories & grew in confidence with all of you encouraging me on. Today, this mallu blogger from God's Own Country, Devil's Own Backyard is here to acknowledge all those who have been with him all along this bumpy ride.

I bestow on you "The Coconut Award" :-). An acknowledgement of the fact that you and your blog are as cool as a coconut drink. In its purest form. No additives, no preservatives...just you. And I love you all for being you!

Presenting the newest entrant into blogpuram...."The Coconut Award"......

The award goes to:

Stephen: For being there. Always. Right from the start. For co-founding "The Writers Lounge" with me and Asbah. A place bubbling with talent and energy. A place we call our home and our virtual family.

Asbah: For being a sweetheart. A friend who is always near despite the distance between us. She is much more than a friend. She understands me. Stands by me. Fights for me. Cries for me. She is one girl I want to meet before i die. An amazing writer, I really appreciate her deep thoughts.

Kajal aka The Pink Orchid: She is my magic wand. My magic spell. Every single line that I co-write with this angel forms itself....like sheer magic. She completed her 100 days in the blogpuram a few days ago. And this magician has 101 followers to her credit. She pens straight from her heart, the words formed out of her blood. She's the purest form, a true angel.

Mona: My lil poet. I have never come across someone who rhymes with such effortless ease! She makes it seem so simple. God gifted talent.

Priyanka: My twin. My sibling. The first one to comment on all my posts. And always ready with those encouraging words, however bad my post be. A total sweetheart! And an amazing poet.

Neha: Writes amazingly well...great descriptions. The biggest Venky alive :-)

The Writers Lounge members: A place we created for budding poets and writers. We are a big family there. A talented bunch. Nandhini, Arjun, John, Chirag, Leo, Pratibha, Tan, Hashan, Aarthi, Charu, Vitruvian Boy, Gaurav, Rashi, Ilashree, Jack, NavChawla, Nabila, Uzra, Insia, Ashrita, Heena and every single member out there. This award is for each one of you for making this place what it is!

Usha: What do i say about Usha? Words fail me! She is always there. To pat you on the back at the end of every post. Does she weave magic with her poems? You bet. Just browse through her site and you will be mesmerized! For sure...my promise!

Harshita: Recent joinee. Fun personified. Her comments make my day.

Kartz: My comment section is so incomplete without his *Peace* adorning my space. A gem.

Arunima: Her honest comments keep me grounded. A fabulous blogger, she makes it a point to highlight the parts where she feels you could have done better. A million thanks for being "you"

Matangi: Wow!! What a writer! What a writer! She is simply fabulous. Her short stories have always been an inspiration. She never disappoints. Never ever!

Ani: Keep the mallu flag flying high in Scotland babe! You are the best. Muah!

Aditya aka the Lover: You have to read him to believe him. A class apart!

Kaushal: Cherry Flavoured Antacids. Comfortably Numb. Homer. Many names. One man. I am yet to see a better poet in blogpuram. My Choteeeeeeeeeee :-)

Another Blogger: I dont know her name. he he. Just know that she's a doc. And her display image gives away the fact that she is gorgeous too. He he he. She is so damn hilarious. I am simply in love with her impromptu posts. She ensures that she has your complete attention when you read her posts. They are so fun! I am so sorry babe that I had to keep you waiting for the third part of "The Blonde" series. Public apology. He he...

Tara: My "daa"....She is a total sweetheart. She makes it a point to come and comment on every post, the moment she sees an update on her sidebar. I love you loads! Muah! You writer fabulously fabulous daa :-)

Divya: Her pettles and pebbles is one of the best blogs I have come across in a while! Always there....A big hug!

Piyush: He was the first one to blogroll me. To give me that confidence. That I "can" write. Thanks a ton brother. For being there.

Praveen: Real posts. Real incidents. The Real Man. The World of Crusader! He means every word when he puts a disclaimer saying that any similarity with anyone living or dead is purely intentional. Speaks his mind. And loved for that. A blessed writer. Gifted with the ability to motivate and gather support around an issue. A gem @ blogpuram

There are a few non-blogger friends I would want to mention as well, without whom i am not complete. My friends, who define me.

I want to give a big hug to my gang: Gudiya aka Dumbo aka Cutie aka Naishy, TJ aka Jyoti aka Tapa aka dude, Moti Bhains aka Saand aka Vidya Balan aka Straight Hair Moti aka Niyati, Nano aka Chotu aka Chor aka Tewari aka Confidence aka Divya, Garry aka Olive Oyl aka Senorita aka Garima, Luchi aka Scarlet aka Ruchi, Major aka e-Bhagat aka Bharat, Geetz aka Lizzy aka Sweetheart aka Bagtrophobia aka byeeeeeeee aka Geetika, Cylinder aka Meghooo aka Jeez aka Meghna, 3/4th aka Abbhi aka Chill babe aka Shruti, My food bank aka Aparna, My fellow mallu colleague aka Aravind B. aka fan aka follower, All of FMG 16 n 17 aka my Superjuniors who come down regularly. I love all of you. I am nothing without you. And everything with you. *Hugs*

P.S: I hereby promise to blog daily for many days to follow to compensate for my absence. Promise!!

The Blonde - Part 3

# Thanks Priyanka for helping me pen this one and help give flow to my thoughts and ideas. This last part would not have been possible without you. The looooooooooooong break didnt help me much. But all thanks to her, i have been able to post the concluding part of this series. And have shaken the rust off me too.....Am Back!! Cheers!! And a million apologies to all my readers for the delay.

Swami just could not believe in his luck today. He had always been one of those desperate kinds whose idea of a perfect day started and ended with only one requirement: ‘A Girl’. School, college and now job, Swami had left no stone unturned to try his chance at any living being belonging to the ‘XX’ species. But luck had always deserted him. He had been positioned as the most desperate guy on planet and girls avoided him like plague.

He had even once joined a crash course in dating named ‘Way to woo’ to get a few tips on impressing the opposite sex. The so called institute claimed a success rate of 99%. Without realising that it were souls like him who fell into that 1% category, he religiously followed all tips he learned, but to no avail. On the last day of the course was given the master tip – ‘Don’t give a damn!’ While all other tips focussed on taking steps to show interest in a girl, this was the anti and was given in the end if everything else had failed. This was because of the risk involved in its implementation. It had a very simple strategy – Just to show that you are ‘not interested’!! A ‘successful’ acquaintance had told Swami how different strategies worked with different girls, and how this master strategy worked with almost all. Showing some interest initially followed by steps like ‘Will meet later…’ or ‘I am busy/sleepy/tired…will talk later…’ etc worked wonders many a times. But not for Swami. The only girl from his college who had showed a little interest in him never called back after Swami gave her his ‘I am busy’ dose.

But today seemed to be his day, and he wanted to leave no chance to turn the day into ‘THE’ day. His phone beeped. His boss had messaged him the flight details of Christy. It would scheduled to land at the Mumbai airport in 3 hours. He rushed to the medical shop on the other side o f the road to pick "IT" up. He would need it for sure for Americans are very particular about using protection. Swami did not want his not having one to spoil his chances for the night. "Bhaiya, ek packet dena toh zara", he approached the chemist, blushing away to glory. "Ek kya doon? Headache hain or cold?", enquired the chemist. Swami had turned all red, "Nahi. I need one.......mmmmmmmm...one.......wohi joh use karna chaahiye." He stopped abrubtly while asking for it when he saw a girl approaching the counter. He waited for a good 20 minutes waiting for her to leave the shop. He started fiddling with the bottles kept at the counter. Swami could not get himself to ask for it. Managing to muster all courage he had, he decided that he would ask it without any hitches this time and cleared his throat for the same. At that very moment Mr. Ramamoorthy, one of his colleagues who stayed in the same society, came in asking for a thermometer. He greeted Swami with a smile. Swami was getting nervous now. The shopkeeper got the hint now what he wanted. "You want a packet of condom Sir. Aap log bhi naa. Itna sharmaate kyun hain!! Wait, i will just give it to you”. Swami was left red faced. He looked sheepishly towards Mr. Ramamoorthy who gave him a wink. The chemist packed "IT" for Swami into a brown packet.

This adventure of his had robbed him of half an hour. He had no time to rush to office to arrange for the cab and pick up other details of Christy. He anyways had her flight details and knew her name. He rushed home and started changing. Swami picked up his best clothes, shaved twice, applied gel on hair and emptied half a bottle of perfume over him. He checked the side pocket of his pants to make sure that he had not forgotten “IT”. He smiled and blushed at the thought of all the naughty things he would do with Christy, if the day turned out to be extraordinarily lucky for him. He observed himself from top to bottom in the mirror for whole 15 mins from different angles. When satisfied, he left for the airport to reach there an hour before the scheduled time. After all, he needed at least this much time to settle in and prepare himself for welcoming Christy. He had to decide whether to go for a full fledged embrace and kiss or keep it soft and corporate style after taking a look at the crowd at the airport. He had got his own car to pick up Christy, since he was running short on time and had also not collected the placard which had the name of the delegate coming from the office receptionist. Now, at the airport, he had already started dreaming of Christy. He just couldn’t stop smiling at himself thinking of this sudden unexpected bout of kindness from the almighty. His thoughts were now running wild. He had painted the complete picture of Christy in his mind – 5’11”, extremely fair, blonde, curvaceous and with sharp features. He was almost sweating with excitement. He wondered if only thoughts had such an effect on him, what would happen when he would see her actually. Almost instinctively, his hand reached his pocket to make sure he was carrying ‘IT’, just in case the need arises.

The airport was swarming with people and Swami was having a great time ‘window shopping’ the pretty faces and bodies, especially the foreign babes who were a rare feast for his thirsty eyes. He felt like exchanging jobs with the airport checking staff who seemed blessed to him with the luxury of being ‘so close’ to such hot babes throughout the day, and night. Job reminded him of how important Christy as a client was for the firm, and hence promised himself to keep his desperation and desire below a threshold level, at least initially. But the many stories that he had heard from his friends in the States about the ‘open minded’ gals there made him sure enough that Christy would be an easy catch.

Swami made a makeshift placard on a sheet and wrote “Christy” in black bold letters. He checked his watch. Just 5 more minutes left for the arrival. He made some final adjustments, tucked in his shirt for the millionth time, adjusted his specs, arranged his hair and checked whether he smelt good. The screen flashed the announcement that the flight had landed. Swami was getting nervous by the minute. Christy would walk straight into his arms any moment now. 20 more minutes passed. The passengers from Christy’s flight had started walking out of the arrival gate after completing the formalities. Swami wiped away the sweat from his forehead. His heartbeats had gone up. He was clutching his fists trying to hold the excitement. He was now anxiously waiting and eyeing all hot foreign babes to find ‘his’ gal. “Aaaaah….there she is!!” he exclaimed. His eyes rested on a beautiful blonde who completely fitted the picture of his imaginations. Tall, fair, gorgeous, naughty eyes and wearing a tube top with a mini skirt, she was looking ravishing. She had a corporate feel about her as well. The way she walked confidently came from her position. This had to be Christy. He held up the placard he had made for her. Swami’s felt his heart would burst out any moment. He had never felt it beat so fast. His view of Christy was being obstructed by a fat ugly guy walking right in front of her who was struggling to find his way through the crowd. Swami said to himself, “My…my….God does make some unique samples…I tell you. Ten Christy’s can hide behind this huge boulder. Is he a man or a mountain? God is strange….on one hand he creates someone as divine as Christy and on the other hand he overburdens this place by creating fatties like these”. He thanked God for blessing him the most beautiful of his creations.

The blonde seemed to be stuck behind the fat guy. She seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the airport, but with this fat guy moving slowly right in front of her she had no choice but to slow down. The fat guy looked a confused soul. He was looking around for help. Both he and the sexy lady were now heading in Swami’s direction. His heart started beating even faster; he firmly held the placard reading ‘Christy’ and waited anxiously to kiss her on both cheeks. In the matter of those few seconds, all his fantasies and desires came rushing back and were on the penultimate point, when at last moment, the lady turned in another direction. That very moment, the fat guy turned around and accidentally hit the blonde on her nose. He apologised instantly and the blonde gave back a forced smile. Swami felt the adrenaline rushing in his veins. He could not let go off this opportunity to impress Christy. He rushed forward and caught the fat guy by his collar.

Swami started shouting at the top of his voice, “You fat son of a bi*&h!! Trying to harass this beauty. How dare you? Do you have any idea who she is?? Have you heard of the US telecom giants? US Tele!! Ya…you heard it right. She is our guest here from US Tele. Say sorry to Christy or else I will make you rub your fat nose on those sexy sandals she is wearing” Swami stopped midway and turned to the lady. He gave the blonde a full toothed smile, “Hi Gorgeous. Relax. I will take care of this guinea pig. I am here to protect you from such scoundrels. We won’t let US Tele down! You are our esteemed guest. It’s anticipating such spoilsports here that my boss has sent me personally to escort you to safety” The blonde gave him a strange expression and walked away in the opposite direction. Swami was amused and tried to call her back, “Christy...Christy…Christyyyy”. She moved on. At that very moment, he felt a hand on his shoulders and a voice accompanied the hand, "Hi..I am Christy".

Swami turned around to get the shock of his life! It was the same fat guy whom he had seen trailing the sexy lady, whose collar he had just held!! His heart skipped a beat and all colours vanished from his face. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Even before he could react or curse his damn luck, Christy extended his hand forward feverishly. Swami sheepishly shook hands and the fat man spoke, "Christy here...Christopher Smith. From US Tele. I need to speak to your boss right now!!”

THE END

Guess Whoz Back!! Yes..Me...The Crack!!

I am alive....I am alive.....I am alive. I was told when i was a small kid that repeating something three times makes you completely sure of the same. So if you had to win that race against all the odds, you had to sharpen your self belief by chanting to yourself, I can win...i can win...I can win. As simple as that. So if you want me to go back to my coffin, all you have to do is mention...Go back you jerk...Go back you jerk...go back you jerk, in the comments section. He he....

Brain Dead....Inactive.....and decomposing.....that was what i was literally feeling after staying away from this place i call my second home for good 2 months. Oh my god...I have been dead for almost 2 months. Staying away from all those friends whom i may not know in person, but i for sure have seen their soul in their works. Staying away from all those gems these friends unearth and post for the world to admire. Good that you all did not hand over the body for post mortem or else i would never have got the chance to spring back to life again.

Work......Travelling....Loads of it....and a lil laziness......three drugs i was injecting myself with every single day....for the last two months. I had transformed into an addict, snorting in work & travel on weekdays....and smoking out laziness, letting out perfectly shaped rings on weekends. When the things had got out of control and excessive smoking of laziness had started showing cancerous developments in the brain, i stamped my feet and shouted out loud, "Enough of this addiction...Time for some fiction!!"

And here I am.......Back.......And here to stay....Never to fart.....errrr...part!!

Missed being with all of you......Feels great to be back.....There will never ever be a dull moment with this Crack!! Cheers!!!

Psssssst......Blonde 3 to see sunshine tomm....finally.....kindly re-read the earlier two episodes to get back into the mould......am so sorry for the inconvenience caused ;-)

The Blonde - Part 2

I was overwhelmed. My chest swelled with pride. Mr. Bajpayee’s words were like music to my ears. The appraisal time is only 3 months away. I am sure of getting promoted now. He thinks so highly of me. If I stay in his good books for another year, then there is a possibility of my getting another promotion next year itself. Wow. A senior manager within 3 years of joining this company would be no mean achievement. My fellow batch mates would go green with envy. My super juniors at the School of Management would cite my success as an example. Aspirants would want to get into the School of Management and emulate my success story. Wow. For that kind of stardom, I don’t mind getting a call from the big boss at weird hours in the morning. As long as I am in his good books, I don’t mind. Has he called me to give me a hint that if I continue working like this, I am a surety for promotion in the coming quarter? Has he called me to praise me on the kind of revenues my product brought in last month? But why would he choose this weird time in the morning if he just had to congratulate me? Why on earth can't he break this news to me tomorrow or any other day when he is relatively free from these board meetings? Why on earth is he being so sweet to me? Why? Why? Why?

“Swami….Hello…hello…Swami….Mr. Swaminathan……Are you there? Hello…hello. Are you there? Swami……..”

That shrill in his voice when he took my name had surpassed the threshold decibel levels enough to pull you back from the world of dreams and questions. “Uh…Yup…Oh…Yes Sir. Hello….hello…Yes Sir. I am right here Sir. Actually I held up my breath for a minute as part of the breathing exercise which I do without fail everyday at 6:18 am Sir. I couldn’t break the daily ritual Sir. I am so sorry to have kept you waiting. I really am.”

“No, no it’s fine. Yes it’s fine. It’s perfectly okay.” I felt I could hear Mr. Bajpayee clenching his teeth, as if trying hard to conceal his anger. Was I nuts? How could he? He has been so sweet and has been praising me all this while. Why on earth will he get angry just because I was not responding to him for a minute? He can’t get angry yaar. Why on earth am I imagining things? Isn’t it winter season? Why can’t that be the reason behind the clenching teethes?

“I just wanted a favor from you Swami.” Mr. Bajpayee interrupted my chain of thoughts once again. This time there was urgency in his voice. He continued, “I think I should not interrupt your chain of breathing and other exercises and come directly to the point of the matter. We are expecting a special guest today late evening Swami. Are you there Swami?”

“Please go on Sir.” I was prompt in replying back.

“We are expecting a special guest from the states today Mr. Swami. It's someone from US Tele, one of the American giants” Mr. Bajpayee continued, “Christy will be here in Mumbai by the 8 pm flight. God, what a young thing! And a brilliant brain to supplement that smart looks. A deadly mix, undoubtedly. It did not take me long to get amiable with Christy, even if it was in the midst of a business meet. I still remember the discussions I had with Christy during the last conference in Bangkok. We had zeroed down on some areas where we could partner and leverage on each others strengths. I had not known that Christy will come down personally to discuss and bring those rough plans to a closure. And you have no clue the tune of profits this strategic tie up is going to bring in Swami. It’s going to be you who will be spearheading this project if the meeting with the top management goes off well. And these Americans really like to be taken care of and be made to feel important. I want Christy to feel at home and personally looked after. Of course we will be sending a chauffeur driven car for Christy. But I want someone to be there from our company to receive Christy. The flight and other details of Christy will be available with Sheela. Please do collect it from her and hand it over to whomsoever you arrange to collect Christy. I have even asked her for a nameplate. Do collect that from her too. I wanted your suggestions on whom to send Swami. Can you suggest someone from the junior management or executives who are pleasant and can handle this?”

There was only one name that was doing rounds in my brain. Christy!! From the States!! Young thing. And brainy. Wow. That was exactly the kind of stuff that my dreams were made of. The kinds that could make any man go week in his knees. I was already starting to reel under the effect of this heady concoction named Christy. An American….Yippeee…it has been my childhood dream to romance a blonde. The kind fantasies are made of. The kind you see only in films. The kind whose touch you yearn for every time you see a Hollywood hero making out with her. Silently wishing had you been born on the other end of the world, you would have at least stood a chance to enjoy these pleasures. An opportunity was knocking right at my doors. It’s not everyday you get to personally receive a blonde and greet her with kisses on both sides of her cheeks. In complete American style. Hmmm…I have to make sure to dab my cheeks with a lot of Old Spice after shave lotion today. Let me keep it in the office bag right now. It should leave her craving for me. I couldn’t believe my luck. It’s not everyday that you get to gift a blonde with an expensive bouquet, and that too on company expense. It’s not everyday that you get to drop her personally to the suite in the hotel. And then bid goodbye again by kissing on both sides of her cheeks. And it’s not everyday that you stand a chance to be invited to stay over the night in that suite with her, if she starts getting pangs of loneliness all of a sudden. Wait. I have to pick up that stuff as well from the medical shop. I have heard that Americans are very particular about that. I don’t want to lose a chance of making love with a blonde for not carrying one. I have to set my reminder to pick up a packet from the medical shop. I couldn’t stop smiling at my sheer luck. Christy had walked into my life unexpected. Just like that. I felt sorry for cursing the morning. This was the best morning of my life. And I had a chance to make it the most memorable day of my life as well.

“Hello….hello…Swami…….God! What’s wrong with you Swami? Hello….hello…Are you there? I asked whether you could suggest someone from the junior management or executives who are pleasant and can handle this.” Mr. Bajpayee demanded.

“Hello..Yes Sir. I am here. Sorry Sir. Daily rituals Sir. I am extremely sorry Sir. Don’t you worry boss. Why should you look for someone in the junior management when you have someone as capable as me? I won’t mind doing something which is not a part of my job if it’s of such strategic importance to the company Sir. Despite being neck deep with work, I will definitely take time out and be there at the airport. I will make sure to lick her up…eh…..pick her up Sir. It would be my pleasure. Please allow me to.” I hoped he hadn’t noticed the desperation in my voice.

“Ok then. Please collect the nameplate, details of the flight, hotel and the cab from Sheela. Thanks a lot Swami.” Mr. Bajpayee hung up.

To Be Continued....

The Blonde - Part 1

I woke up from my slumber with a start. The phone ring startled me. I checked the time. It was only 6 in the morning. A glance at my mobile screen took away whatever little remained of the state called sleep in my eyes. Not that it was unusual to receive calls at 6 in the morning, but it gets scary when the person at the other end of the line in none other than your big boss. By the time I was back to my senses and could get a hang of the situation, I had already missed his call. I wanted to call him back but a strong urge to attend nature’s call had me rushing to the bathroom. I think the shock I had got had put pressure at the wrong end. It took another call of his to wake me up from the comfort I had got used to sitting there having a tête-à-tête with nature. I completed the customary formalities of this unplanned meeting with nature and rushed towards the washbasin with the phone blaring away to glory. I washed up my face at a superhuman speed in a desperate attempt to be attentive during the duration of the call. I couldn’t have afforded to come across as an inattentive jerk while talking to the big boss. I missed the second call too. Gosh. I would already be on his breakfast menu by now. I fiddled with the phone trying hard to recall any untoward incident in the past few days which had resulted in this call. I silently prayed to god to keep his temper at bay. I was sure of getting a sound scolding for missing his call twice. Nervously, I dialed up his number.

He sounded visibly excited at the other end. “Good morning Swami. I knew you would be awake at this hour given the fitness freak that you are. And see…that pant in your voice suggests you have been exercising. Doing your yoga sessions eh? Well, a healthy mind resides in a healthy body Mr. Swami.”

I just nodded in agreement. I dared not differ. “Uh…Hello Sir. A very good morning. Yaa…was in the midst of Sheershasan, Sir. I have been at it since the past fifteen minutes. It’s said that while doing it you should not do anything else. I couldn’t pick up your call because of that very reason boss. Another hour of my usual set of exercises and I will be done with my quota for today, Sir. How can I be of help to you Sir?”

“We don’t see health conscious young people like you anymore Swami. It’s really commendable for someone who belongs to the fast food generation. I knew you would be among the few awake at this hour. And I couldn’t wait to brief you till the office starts. I have a board meeting scheduled today from 9 in the morning to evening. I would be completely occupied with that the whole day and wanted to hand this over to someone capable enough. And I could not think of a better person who could handle this small thing well.”

My chest swelled with pride. There is something about compliments. It simply whisks away all your miseries. Compliments are like a performance enhancing drugs. You feel possessed and back yourself to do seemingly out worldly tasks after digesting one of them served on a platter. This drug labeled “Compliment” mixes so easily with blood that the effect stays for long. And bosses are greatest exponents of this art. One clean stroke and you have your subordinate raring to have a go.

To be continued...