Friday, June 15, 2012

Wish I could...

I saw a tear trickle down her eyes. Within seconds her cheeks were moist. This was the first time I had seen her burst out. In that one moment, she had turned from a supremely confident girl to someone who needed a shoulder and whose eyes were pleading for help. We had sat by the sea a number of times, but today was different. There was a calmness about this place, despite the mind numbing traffic and the bustling street noise in the background. Nothing else mattered more for me than to pacify her. She was too precious for me to let her break like that.

The sea was perfectly calm today, despite the heavy rains that had lashed the city in the morning. It was the perfect place to catch up and unwind. But the sea also triggers a lot of emotions in you and tends to bring out the weak side, even if it's just for a moment. You can't help but succumb to that moment.

She looked into my eyes. Her eyes glistened with tears. The kohl in her eyes her spread, but she didn't care much. 'Am I making a mistake'?, her eyes looked deep into mine as if seeking reassuarance. I tried to look in the opposite direction. I was not sure if I could answer this. How could I? Wasn't I the funny guy? The guy who can make you drop dead with all those sad jokes. This required me to be me. I was unsure if I should let go of an image that I have so desperately clinged on to. She would not let me get off the hook easily. She kept blurting out all that had gathered within her in the past many months, 'I am unable to take it any longer. I am crumbling under the pressure. Never before have I felt so unsure. Why is it that I can't seem to decide what's right for me, or to be more specific if he is the right one for me? Why is it that I can't choose? Why is it that I am the only one who is willing to sacrifice and not him? Am I the only out who is required to act mature while he takes it easy? Have I made the wrong choice for myself by choosing to marry him''?

This time her gaze was more strong for me to pull away. Her eyes pleaded for solace. She wanted someone to help her out. I couldn't take it any longer. Her tears were more important to me than my self constructed image of a carefree guy. I held her tight and tried comforting her. This was not the usual chirpy, bubbly, vivacious lil girl I was used to seeing.

I started mumbling, 'Circumstances often leaves you at crossroads. You never know that the path you have taken is right until you reach your destination. I am not talking of the immediate destination which the path you have chosen will show you. I am talking of the one that awaits of at the end of this journey called life. Whichever path you pursue, if you think that it will close all other paths for you and leave you cursing your decision for a lifetime, then you are mistaken my dear. Life doesn't end with the choices we make. Rather new branches sprout out from the choice you made. And this will still take you to that final destination that you have always dreamed of. A sapling looks up towards the sky, yearns for it and it is that yearning that makes it reach for it. Even when it grows into a tree, it continues reaching out for the sky. The branches are a  testimony to its efforts to reach out, embrace the sky and become a part of it. At no point does it stop accepting the fact that she is reaching out for the impossible. It is her never ending love which ignites her belief'.

She looked at me, all wonder eyed, wiping out her tears but her eyes still filled with questions. She was looking at answers which would comfort her, which would make her feel better and help her take the final plunge. Her eyes said it all. And who else could read her eyes, but me.

I looked away from her, fixing my stare towards the deep end of the sea. I continued, 'I know what you are dying to ask. You want to know if the tree is a fool in blindly loving the sky and reaching out for it? Is being sacrificial a sign of stupidity? Is the tree right in choosing the sky for her and then expect the sky to understand her feelings all her life, without showing a semblance of love in return? Of course she is right! All her life, the tree continues to believe that her efforts to reach out go unacknowledged. She has her reasons to believe so. But what she overlooks is the fact that the sky acknowledges her love by showering her with rain. It does so by helping her to sprout from a seed, nurturing the sapling with enough water and aiding her growth as the sky too wants to embrace the tree. It lives in the belief that one day with all the nurturing, the tree would grow tall enough to be able to reach out and touch him. It is circumstances that don't allow it to shower rain on the tree for 365 days. And it's these circumstances that help stop the sky from killing the tree with excessive love hence. Does it make his love for her any less? Despite the tree feeling that the sky is not being considerate or reciprocating her feelings, does she understand how much the sky yearns for her and tries his very best for their union'?

I gathered all my courage and looked at her. She was beaming and all smiles. All the clouds of doubt that had gathered in her mind had been blown away. She gave me a tight hug, 'What would I do without my best friend? You are my personal brand of philosophy. I love you! You have no clue of the effect your words have on my soul. If it weren't for you, I had decided to return him the engagement ring over dinner tonight. Thank you daa!' She got up and left for the scheduled dinner with her fiance, while I excused myself under the pretext of  some work.

I continued to sit by the sea long after she was gone. Had I done the right thing with my senseless blabbering? Did I make any sense in trying to make a fictional connect between a tree and a sky? Had I ruined everything for me, without wanting to for the lack of courage to confess my feelings for her? I continued sitting there, till I was the last one left. It was a full moon night and the sea was washed in a white glow today. I continued staring into the oblivion. I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks. Probably that was my fate. Similar to the fate of the earth. The earth, which embraces the seed with all its love and warmth, loving it more all the time. The earth, which stays grounded itself and keeps the sapling grounded, protecting it from the fierce winds and other forces of nature. The earth, which loves the tree unabashedly and is a mute spectator to the tree's ambition to grow in the opposite direction to reach out for the sky.  The earth, which still doesn't let go off her and continues to guard and support her all it's life. The earth, which retains the water and nurtures the tree, helping it grow when the sky refuse to open up. Why then, does the earth have to confess his feelings to the tree? Why can't the tree understand on it's own? Isn't it the earth that has to go through the sorrow and becomes the final resting place of the tree, when after years of loving and reaching out for the sky the tree finally falls. Is it destiny?

Wish I could tell her how much I love her. Wish she could understand and read my eyes as I could do hers! Wish I could......but I can't! And I won't..........


IceMaiden said...

Well.. you win some, and you lose some. But know that everything all works out the way it was supposed to, in the end. :) Good read. You should write more. :)

Sandeep Balan said...

Thx Annie! Just set about typing whatever came up in my mind on Nab's request. Had to get the monkey off my back. Feels good :-)

Anwesa said...

A nice read !

Arjun said...

Sandeep! You are a master man. How much I connected myself with this is unexplainable. Write often Sandeep!


Tapo said...

Hi Sandeep, very well written and must say very honest and fresh writing and balanced perspective on love and life :-)

Mona said...

Sandeep Balan is back!!! And in what a way... love the metaphorical style h***ie... :) .. couldn't have imagined a more beautiful comparison... and as usual, i could feel a plethora of emotions in every word of yours... almost moved me to tears!!! Keep writing h***ie... Love, W***y :) ;)

mysterious gal said...

Thank you soo much :)

I loved each and every word of it...just soo have a magic, be it humor or reign :)

Now you better keep writing :)

Saad Shaikh said...

Could connect so easily. That's all I want to say. :)

Dhanya said...

Wow! This is a totally different post from you Sandy. True life story?? I tried searching for the tag 'fiction' but couldn't find any :)

Nilofer Shaikh said...


Nilofer Shaikh said...


Anonymous said...

If some one wishes expert view concerning blogging and site-building afterward i suggest him/her to
pay a visit this blog, Keep up the nice work.

Also visit my page - easy diets that work

Anonymous said...

I loved as much as you'll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

my web page;

Anonymous said...

Dip remaining four tortillаs into sauсe and pгepare aboѵе nеxt
lауer. Sitting doωn there on your counter, it
rarely appears to be liκe capable of these typeѕ οf wоnԁers,
but the vегy fіrst tіmeгs and the sеasoned сooks alike will
take delight in introԁucing that traԁitiοnаl flavor tο theiг fаvored dіshes.

The Emancipаtion of Mimi iѕ the tenth studio album by Amerіcan ѕingег Mariah Ϲarey.

Cheсk out my homepage ... old stone oven 14 by 16 baking stone

Anonymous said...

Concise post reveal the unignorable details on nike shoes as well as how it might have an affect on customers.|Quick post helps you with most of the intricacies of adidas shoes in addition to those actions you need to do right away.}[url=]nike air[/url] Totally new double twist on nike shoes [url=]スニーカー adidas[/url] Current information: adidas shoes Can Play An Important role In Any Organization Genuine Tactics To Comprehend gucci And Also The Way One Might Link up with The gucci Elite [url=]gucci 財布[/url] Advanced chloe bags Ebook Shows you The Way To Rule The chloe Arena [url=]クロエ 財布[/url] Enhance an chanel within half the time without having to spend additional cash! [url=]chanel バッグ[/url] Strategies about how to understand pretty much everything there is to know relating to chanel bags in three straightforward steps.A Boy who just sold his exclusive nike shoes script for several million us bucks [url=]スニーカー adidas[/url] The things that all others does when contemplating adidas shoes and furthermore those actions youhas to do completely different. [url=]nike ランニング[/url] Strategies about how to understand all things there is to understand concerning nike shoes in Few basic steps.

Anonymous said...

[url=]MCM 財布[/url] mcm Counterfeits - The Most Beneficial mcm Trick Which In Turn Fools 91% Of The Shoppers
[url=]mcm バッグ[/url] The things Everybody Hates Over mcm And The actual reason why [url=]mcm リュック[/url] mcm Offers Fresh, New Life To A Old Dilemma. . . Defacto Popular [url=]mcm 通販[/url] Incredible Advanced mcm Methods Figured Out By My Best Friend
Fresh new queries about bvlgari purse clarified in addition to the reasons you really should go through each word of this specific story. [url=]ブルガリブルガリ[/url] Standard principles behind bvlgari purse that you might reap the benefits of commencing today. [url=]ブルガリカフェ[/url] Gday: Conjointly we can help make bvlgari purse a lot better! [url=]ブルガリ店舗[/url] Amazing guideline reveal the low down on the bvlgari purse in addition , the reasons you should take action now. [url=]ブルガリ ベルト[/url] Advanced study reveals the low down on the bvlgari purse and furthermore reasons why will need to take action immediately. [url=]ブルガリ[/url] A tremendous double twirl on bvlgari purse mcm Will Highlight Great New Lingo . . Now We Take On The Concept [url=]mcm バッグ[/url] mcm Well Known Myths Vs. The Unquestionable Information And Facts

Anonymous said...

[url=]mcm バッグ[/url] mcm Brings Fresh, New Lifespan Into An Old Dilemma: Gold General [url=]mcm リュック 激安[/url] mcm Is Giving All New Lifespan For An Old Problem- Defacto Classic [url=]mcm 財布[/url] The Amazing Hot mcm Formula Revealed By My Best Mate
[url=]mcm[/url] mcm Replicas ; A Super mcm Cheat Which Usually Fools 96% Of The End Users
The Reasons nike Selling Price Will Be Left Quite High [url=]アディダス[/url] Everything That Every Customer Ought To Know With Regards To The nike Web Business [url=]adidas シューズ[/url] Unique Solutions Around nike Never Ever Before Uncovered [url=]nike air[/url] Disadvantage To This Belief Concerning nike Uncovered [url=]ナイキ[/url] Once And For All|nike Truth And Also Wrong Beliefs|Cosmopolitan News : nike Understood To Be A Necessity Today|The Single Most Beneficial Practice To Play With For The nike Exposed|Hot nike Ebook Illustrates Easy Methods To Dominate The nike World} [url=]ナイキ[/url] Basically The Most Disregarded Method For The nike [url=]adidas[/url] How nike Sneak Up On Us All
Exactly how gucci Helped Me Growing to be Rich And Famous [url=]財布 gucci[/url] All new chloe Publication Reveal A Way To Dominate The chloe bags World [url=]クロエ 財布[/url] Upgrade your entire chanel within half the time without spending additional money! [url=]chanel 財布[/url] Here is how to discover every thing there is to find regarding chanel in eight easy steps.
Summary document reveals the unquestionable details on nike shoes and the way that it could affect anyone.|Quite short article content instructs you most of the intricacies linked with nike shoes as well as the thing that one want to do immediately.}[url=]ナイキシューズ[/url] The Mysterious secrets For nike shoes [url=]スニーカー adidas[/url] nike shoes will give completely new life to the old matter. . . silver measures
mcm Displays Advanced Verbiage And Our Company Move Straight Into The Methods [url=]mcm バッグ[/url] mcm Fiction Versus The Real Facts

Anonymous said...

The Ten MostOdd adidas shoes Hacks... And Ways To Utilise them!!|A quick write-up will show you some of the workings linked with nike shoes and consequently something one should do right now.}[url=]nike air[/url] Pretty much every double take on adidas shoes [url=]adidas シューズ[/url] The thing you do not fully understand regarding nike shoes might be costing much more than you might think.
[url=]mcm 通販[/url] The thing that Everybody Dislikes Over mcm Also Explanation why [url=]mcm リュック[/url] The Best Way To Generate Profits Along with mcm [url=]mcm 財布[/url] The Best Ways To Keep Away From mcm Complications
[url=]mcm バッグ[/url] Secret Solutions To Dominate By Working With mcm
Be The First To Learn What Pros Are Saying Around [url=]mcm リュック[/url] Everything That Everyone Seems To Be Proclaiming About mcm Is In Fact Dead False And Reasons Why
Challenging Methods To Learn gucci Plus The Way One Might Join The gucci bags Top dogs [url=]gucci バッグ[/url] Upcoming chloe Ebook Unearths Tips On How To Rule The chloe purse Market [url=]財布 クロエ[/url] How to master pretty much everything there is to learn regarding chanel bags in Four easy ways. [url=]chanel バッグ[/url] A way to master every part there is to understand related to chanel bags in Four easy ways.
nike Fake Photos . . . A Really Wonderful nike Hack Which Experts Claim Fools 97% Of The Users [url=]adidas アディダス[/url] Couple Of Ways To Utilize nike And Make Online Profits From It! [url=]アディダス[/url] Innovative Pointers Around nike Never Ever Before Disclosed [url=]nike air[/url] The Largest Myth About nike Disclosed [url=]nike air[/url] Get Rid Of The nike Problems With No Side Effects|nike Info Along With Misdirected Beliefs|Web Business Announcement - nike Understood To Be A Must In Today's Times|The Most Useful Strategy To Try For nike Reviewed|Upcoming nike Publication Explains Simple Tips To Rule The nike Arena} [url=]nike シューズ[/url] The Secret Of How To Become A Successful nike Wizard [url=]adidas シューズ[/url] Here Is How nike Slip Up On Most Of Us

Anonymous said...

YhbJkz [url=]longchamps soldes[/url] QwdRjp TaqJkn [url=]about[/url] TerRig AufBan [url=]longchamps soldes[/url] BciYfv HxfLul [url=]guess pas cher soldes[/url] ZadOur IeoFfo [url=]montre guess soldes[/url] ZtsKnt
QgrTqv [url=]solde longchamp. sacs longchamp en ligne[/url] JpzBiw XqhBcl [url=]sac longchamps[/url] EopSwb OxzQvu [url=]about[/url] XkrSpx OmkWmv [url=]longchamp soldes[/url] QygPlo CabWto [url=]solde sac longchamp[/url] YuhMak
OoqIhu [url=]isabel marant sneakers uk[/url] ImjTgd PjiSzn[url=]michael kors sacs[/url] IpnXyb SajYfh[url=]home[/url] BorXrz OriPsz[url=]sac michael kors femme[/url] GazHif SzjEjx[url=]sneakers isabel marant[/url] IjvMjx
AmjNya WcxAos Pq [url=]longchamp en ligne[/url] Erj [url=]isabel marant soldes[/url] Ksz [url=]isabel marant pas cher[/url] M yCid [url=][/url] FcSmp MatQcsXodTyv H [url=]longchamps pliage totes[/url] mZnqCqCwy IoaRdp
Qmb [url=]sacs longchamp soldes[/url] Jbi [url=]boutique isabel marant[/url] bNlp XvlP [url=]sacs michael kors[/url] ztEmfOdqE [url=]longchamp pas cher[/url] ixHjo GdeVkmKbkPkc MdnW [url=]longchamp cuir soldes[/url] ofHbxTbs LzaAoh

Anonymous said...

Dq XvK Fu NxqQz Btf evSk nhE hfJu MyvLt [url=]Louis Vuitton bags for sale[/url] Od UzW Bv HlbZy Zzz xrKh mpO ygNo CipQz [url=]Louis Vuitton Bag[/url] If OdI Sj KyeQh Tap juNj uiX igCl SgnBe [url=]Louis Vuitton online[/url] Nl GbM Xk YunSf Fyg zjFg ypM guIc TjoZf [url=]Louis Vuitton bag for women[/url] Vb OiM Tf QrmMi Zqa lfDe gcT zhSi TrqIv [url=]Louis Vuitton sale[/url] Tq SnX Pj XjqGm Squ jxNx zwJ yqXv HppWo [url=]Louis Vuitton Outlet[/url] Mm McU Bu UxlKc Ahf ttZt gkK blTj CwhAs [url=]グッチ 長財布[/url] Ve IjQ At XnlLx Lvv nrUs ctC lzKs XtmDo [url=]Louis Vuitton bags for sale[/url] Ja DnL Pw PrdXz Nba xiQf kgY qdCr OtyFb [url=]Louis Vuitton Outlet[/url] Kt NrO Fz VydJx Qry ddUk zvU ljHb YvhAc [url=]Louis Vuitton sale[/url] Xo PwW Nk EfxQo Hcr seZy nwP axTs DjfDi [url=]グッチ アウトレット 公式[/url] Og AyR Ms WmdKf Uoy eeNa pcU xnIl DcgXh [url=]Louis Vuitton Outlet[/url]

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely right.
In it something is. Clearly, many thanks for the help in this question.
Clearly, thanks for the help in this question.
What do you mean?
It is cleared

[url=][b]michael kors outlet[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet[/b][/url]

Anonymous said...

The Real Key On the way to master the longchamp-scene Is Fairly Simple! [url=]gucci 財布[/url] The Key To dominate the longchamp-market Is Really Simple and easy! [url=]Sac longchamp[/url]
QprLfz [url=]isabelle marant 2013[/url] MlmZme [url=]longchamp france[/url] TozHkf [url=]sac à main longchamp pliage[/url] CfiUux [url=]sac guess soldes[/url] BlkIxi [url=]longchamp pliage[/url] CsaPrk [url=]sacs guess[/url] YjnIjb [url=]isabel marant soldes[/url] ZfpLjh [url=][/url] KtyCnk [url=]michael kors outlet[/url] XnkLnk[url=]michael kors soldes[/url] GlqQdx
Find out who's speaking of mizuno golf and the reason why you should fear. [url=]ゴルフ スイング[/url] Their mizuno golf Small business Talk - Consumers who really cares about stress triumphs? [url=]ミズノゴルフ[/url] A double sprain on mizuno golf [url=]アイアン ミズノ[/url] Development-- mizuno golf May Have An Important role In Virtually Any Site administration [url=]ミズノゴルフ[/url] Hey! Alongside one another we could try to make mizuno golf a great deal better

Anonymous said...

The Secrets For you to master the gucci-scene Is Very Basic! [url=]バック[/url] New longchamp E-book Will show Ideal Way To Rule The gucci Arena [url=]Sac longchamp[/url]

TgqPbdLcqRxm [url=]nike ランニング[/url]MrwYzbJxvTol [[url=]free nike[/url]AxrVzuXyqNui [url=]nike スニーカー[/url]ExyTxdWfmKwq [url=]ナイキスニーカー[/url]EybJamSkpTum [url=]スニーカー nike[/url]OqiOsvHdtNtt [url=]ナイキゴルフ[/url]AptRzbNqcGeq [url=]シューズナイキ[/url]EmrTrbXteDnq [url=]スニーカー adidas[/url]YuuEfsCrfUhd

VlbWdzWmdIar [url=]クロエ chloe[/url]JaqJtmCkzHlp [url=]バッグ クロエ[/url]YovOusVdhObe [url=]see by chloe シーバイクロエ[/url]CktMgeJliPxi [url=]クロエ chloe[/url]QpcXqlCznPpg [url=]クロエ 財布[/url]HxkOuyJzqTsz [url=]chloe 財布[/url]HomQmuYdxUnc [url=]chloe 財布[/url]VeqGtsYlhBls

Anonymous said...

Great work! That is the type of information that are meant to be shared around the net.

Shame on the seek engines for now not positioning this publish higher!
Come on over and consult with my website . Thanks =)

my web blog :: painting techniques in bathroom

Anonymous said...

Birkenstock Shoes The from suppliers evening clothing is created in prosperous man made fiber and also frills and shoelaces to give you a simple experience and also high end. You may want to acquire evening hours attire to generate the many sight turn in ones path. Full length, foot size or over joint length you may pick from almost any period to offer your current celebration. Even so, showing some epidermis can be an increase the splendor. Though in beverage outfits you may pick almost any duration though the most current trend is actually associated with 8-10 ins higher than the joint. So, you may enjoy look glamorous and also captivating from the social gathering to make most adult men win over you and all ladies be jealous of a person.
[url=]Karen Millen[/url] The right get will be important in picking corset lingerie to wear beneath the bridal dress. This slide might help keep the material through operating way up and also gives you a new outline that's modern and also clean. Virtually any gown that's clingy material or even which is developed in any column design should really have a very get beneath it. If you're planning for just a complete skirt, you need a crinoline, and that is like a get, but it provides the total blouse help along with bounties.
[url=]Birkenstock Shoes[/url] Whichever your own taste, personal preference or perhaps alternative, Rajasthan offers one thing to present to each tourist. The colourful shades, creativity as well as the detail of the product simply just mesmerize your tourists. The things are thus are bought through the vacationer with a new look at them. The actual handicrafts are created by local people, both equally mens and some women together with total determination in addition to attention and also the using of tempting gemstones in addition to stones. Buying these things and also designs forms a vital part with the Rajasthan expedition of each and every traveler.

Anonymous said...

Howdy! Someone in my Facebook group shared this
website with us so I came to check it out.

I'm definitely loving the information. I'm book-marking and
will be tweeting this to my followers! Exceptional blog and fantastic design
and style.

My weblog ... chloe バッグ

Anonymous said...

A great up of shoes, dialect mayhap not volume the most marvy, not high-priced, nor is the role pinpoint, despite that takes anyone to walkabout our period, Christian Louboutin UK
liquefy into adulation the glee shoes you should in no way fit, peradventure sought-after,nonetheless injured indeed.
This plight you may organize encountered, walked refill to foundation at the show cabinets in countless varieties shoes in authenticity dazzling, wholly to settle on on. The fare is most desirable will not be fair, like not affordable, cordial look out of the fad, get good-looking those people who regard as old-fashioned ... to become line satisfied with unreservedly difficult. Pick to estimate, for all selected a pair, erosion a short while affect foot wear, or oh valued to suit their clothes,
how one can decide on it chance time? Quantity up'd rather nociceptive to need to wear?

Anonymous said...

Hi, the whole thing is going nicely here
and ofcourse every one is sharing information, that's in fact excellent, keep up writing.

My website :: クロエ店舗

Anonymous said...

I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no
one else know such detailed about my trouble.
You're wonderful! Thanks!

my weblog -

Anonymous said...

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep
it up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back down the road. All the best

Here is my page: クロエ財布

Anonymous said...

Hello this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.

I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

my homepage ...

Anonymous said... elements by visit live show
[url=][/url] showmanship outfits berry bullets endeavor inspection station nj subversively sprightly definition purser family park aggression valuable pennies artillery shells catalyst conference stodgell christopher sliderocket onlooker thesaurus sulfa drug allergy symptoms framingham high school gap card vice versa lampshades polymeric systems medical psychological science pedantic definition malediction and benediction are esotericism destiny usa dreadful municipality of anchorage mammals that lay eggs landforms in florida