Saturday, May 23, 2009

I Turn "ONE"!!!

Hi Friends....

It's me....yes...for's me....the blog which was christened "yeM Bee yAe" by my father Sandeep. Well, about Sandeep. My father. A young guy who is still very much there in the "youth category"...infact who is clinging on to his youth and counting his last days before he is sucked into the sufferings that old age brings with it. Sandeep Balan aka Balu, the one who cooks up the most painful of stories, who likes pulling legs n pens some hilarious ones, who has taken to philosophy of late and laughs out loud after every "serious" post of his trying to explain life. Explain life?? he he...I doubt whether Sandeep can even spell "L.I.F.E" his own words "LIFE" stands for "Lost In Fun till Eternity" is actually funny to read some serious takes from this crackpot and the worse is when people end up liking his so called "serious" philosophies. This world is sure going to end soon, I the blog called "yeM Bee yAe" is warning you all. The world is going to laugh its way to its end.

Sandeep..........hmmmmm......met my mother "blogspot" on May 23rd, 2008 and fell in love with her. They had their first baby on that very day they met. May 23rd, 2008....when their bodies became one...when their souls became one...when they made love for the first time...within 10 mins I was born. The "yeM Bee yAe" saw the outside world for the first time. Unlike the other babies who entered this cruel world crying their hearts out, I was laughing. Laughing like mad. I thought mom n dad would spend some time with me adoring their beautiful baby. But, Sandeep's desperation knew no end. He had not had enough. He picked up my mom blopspot in his arms and headed to the bedroom for the second time in the evening. And they came back to me after 5 mins and kept my brother, "Day 0: The Goofers" besides me. He also was laughing out like mad. Maybe it was in our genes to be this way. Including that brother, I have had 58 brothers & sisters in the past 1 year. Some came into this world smiling. Some cried their lungs out. And today we are all together. This day, May 23rd, is very special for our family.
Mom & dad are in the bedroom again. By the time I am done with my speech, in all probability (provided my father has not turned impotent all of a sudden) one more name will be added to our family....making us 59.


I would like to thank all for supporting me in this journey of mine. I turn one on blogspot today. It is an elevating feeling. I had started off my blog as an experiment. To understand how a "blog" functions. And today I stand knee deep in this quicksand and I dont want to jump out. Because I have met my most special bunch here. Friends I would die for. I found love, care and the real "me" here. My family at "Writers Lounge" who mean the world to me.

Kajal impersonated me at "Writers Lounge" and gave a speech. I would have written the same. Only one small change in her lines. I would have added her name as well along with Ste's n Asbah's. My special bunch.
'Hello Family,
Today your very own Sandeep - the jester, completes one year in the blog world. 23rd May 2008 was when I'd given birth to my baby 'yeM Bee yAe' (whosoever thought men can not give birth ;). Today when I look back I see a million shared smiles, thousand tears, countless giggles, boundless nods in agreement, a hundred 'I could relate to it' and all this makes my chest swell with pride. Not your applauds but this feeling that somewhere deep down I was able to touch a few lives, make space for myself in a few hearts.

Smile, is the only drug that gives me a high and if added with a laughter then I don't want anything else, my day is already made. Well that's what most of my writes aim at. But when I write something philosophical, heartfelt, based on the shaky grounds of emotions and firm grounds of practility, that's when I don't believe myself that I wrote this, but yes that gives the writer in me, a great satisfaction, nonetheless.

In this one year, I have made so many friends who will last with me till my lifetime and beyond. In this one year, I ended up creating this 'Family' with my co-founders or partners in crime (Asbah and Ste). Today when I see all you ever creative people I get emotional and proud because after all each one of you make this place what it is today - The Writers' Lounge - Our family - A second home to all of us.

My note will be incomplete if I do not mention that pulling Ste's legs in every possible manner is the most exciting thing for me and I keep doing it again and again. Lol but Stephen knows he is dear to me. Love You Biraather!

I am starting to get all nostalgic now. Just wanted to thank you guys, for all your love, motivation, encouragement, LOLs and ROFLs because that's what kept me going in this one year and Inshallah it will continue till ages to come.

You guys have become an intergral part of me and I cannot imagine myself without you!


Can you beleive it that I have not written it?? he he...Read her post here

My Twin's (Priyanka) dedication:

yeM Bee yAe Turns One! :) :)

year ago, on this special day, an
eclectic guy found his way, with his
Magical words and astounding self, he soon

Became everyone’s philosopher and friend
edenic and poignant are his thoughts, with
ease he can touch your soul and heart

yes, with his words so enchanting and pure
Any melancholy of yours, he can cure
everything he writes is a pleasure to read

Tactful gentle and miraculous indeed
Understanding and solicitous are many of his writes
Radiating hope, giving delight
Numerous others are amusing and fun
Superb they are, can be compared to none; yes an

Outstanding blaaaag this one, lots of hearts it has won
Now wishing this baby many many amazing years to come, as this
Elite masterpiece yeM Bee yAe today turns one!

Miles to go before I sleep. Miles to go before I sleep. Rock on!! Yeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

All You Need Is A "Will" To Smile

“Golu, Will you try answering one question for me?”

Sandeep kept looking towards Appu in amazement, visibly surprised at this sudden request.

“Why is it that wounds which are not visible to naked eye hurt the most?"

Sandeep shook his head. He doubted there was anyone who could answer that question with perfect confidence.

But Appu’s voice was ringing with confidence as she continued. “That’s because while a physical wound inflicts damage on your body, these wounds tear open your mind and soul. This pain is excruciating, because the damage is done to your psyche and not your body.”

Sandeep nodded, appreciating her logic. He was the perfect listener. The one who was all ears if the speaker wanted his complete attention. And after all that his best friend Appu had gone through in the past couple of months, he had made it a point to be there besides her as a pillar of strength.

Appu broke into tears the next moment. Sandeep frowned at the sight of her confidence shattering to pieces and tried comforting her. She was weeping inconsolably.

“Golu…Why did it happen with me daa? Everything seemed so picture perfect. It took only a wind to shatter my dreams. These shattered pieces of glass cut deeper into my skin at every passing thought of his. I am losing myself daa. I can never be happy ever again. I am bleeding every moment. Every song reminds me of him. Every place brings back old memories. My wounds will never heal Golu. And I can’t go on like this. I have to learn to mask these wounds. From my parents, my friends and the outside world. I don’t seem to be getting anywhere daa. Please help me with this question that keeps on raising its hood in my mind every now and then. Will my wounds heal first or will I learn to mask them first?” She again broke down after asking that question.

It was Sandeep’s turn now to act confident. He gently stroked her hair and gave her a tight hug.

“Bhondu…..those two questions are seemingly different and difficult, but the answer is interlinked and not that hard. It’s like killing two birds with one stone. It’s finding the right stone that is of utmost importance here.

Take the human body as an example Bhondu. It’s such a complex machine. It’s unbelievable to think that a lump of muscle evolved into atriums, valves, ventricles and arteries resulting in a continuous supply of oxygen to the brain, all in such a way as to make it actually control the parts and enabling the body to spring to life. It’s like turning on the ignition of the car with the heart serving as the engine which pumps the fuel to all the parts. Or take the human eye. As Ryuji in Ring admits that it’s next to impossible to imagine that a piece of skin evolved into a cornea, a pupil, an eyeball, an optical nerve connecting it to the brain, all in such a way as to make it actually see. It’s hard to believe it all happened by chance. There first had to be a will to live, a will to breathe, a will to see, buried somewhere inside living things. Without it, these mechanisms would never have taken shape.

You can even take the example of sea turtles. They dig the earth and lay their eggs therein before heading back to the ocean, leaving the hatchlings completely at nature’s mercy. After hatching, young turtles may take three to seven days to dig their way to the surface. But they do dig their way out. They do it with their sheer will. Hatchlings distinguish light intensities and head for the greater light intensity of the open horizon. After reaching the surf, it dives into a wave and rides the undertow out to sea. They continuously swim for about 24 to 48 hours after entering the water, enabling it to get into the deeper water. A new born pushing its stamina to the limit and fighting odds just to survive. It’s hard to believe it all happened by chance. There had to be a will to fight, a will to survive, a will to challenge.

It’s the “will” that matters Bhondu, a will to heal, a will to spring back to normalcy, a will to forget. If a lump of muscle, a piece of skin and a hatchling can will and attain the impossible; you only need a will to fight your internal demons. It’s an impulse. Where that impulse comes from, I have no idea. It may come from close quarters like your family, your siblings and your friends. It may also come from unexpected quarters like taking up your hobbies, providing an outlet to your creativity and knowing the true you. That’s the precious stone you need to search for Bhondu. You have to find it. I can only help you in the search. But it’s you who have to catch hold of this precious stone called “will” and kill those two faced demons which keep raising their hoods. Which I know for sure my Appu will!!”

*Pic courtesy: Deviant Art

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

One lifetime is not enough!!

“I am grateful to you to have made me feel the divine, magical wonder that is, love. It is this emotion that so many out there pine to feel, to understand, to know. So many souls still have an utmost desire to fall in love once, at least once. Thanks for making me feel blessed Sonu. It is these memories that I will treasure forever”, Aparna was looking straight into his eyes. Her eyes shined, tears streaming down her round face.

For him, she had always been his bubbly little angel. An angel who could never fake her emotions. An angel whose giggles made him crazy and happy. And today he had no control over her tears. He had vowed never to make her shed these tears, unless they were tears of happiness. But today, he let her be. These tears were an outlet to her frustrations and helplessness. Tears which had accumulated since the day her parents broke the news of their plans for her marriage. Tears which screamed of her inability to convince her parents. Tears which had repent written all over for her frustrating past which had squashed her dreams of a carefree future. Tears which spoke volumes of her unconditional love and desire for him. Tears which had “her” and “him” and the dream castles they had weaved together written all over.

Sonu hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. He was fighting back his tears. He could not afford to break down and make her feel worse. He gently stroked her hair and pulled her close to his chest. Wiping away the tears, he whispered into her ears, “Appu. I love you. Nothing can change that. No force can. Ever!! Love is never a fault. It is a gift only the blessed soul’s experience. Love is an emotion which devours everything. It’s about discovering a whole new side of us which we never knew existed. It’s about leaving behind a part of “me” in you and taking a part of “you” with me. These worldly ties may stop us from physically uniting and living this bliss. But no tie can ever take away that part of “me” which lives in you. No one can strangulate the “me” in you and the “you” in me.

Who says I will not be with you dear? Who says we won’t be able to see each other? Who says we won’t be able to love each other? Who says I won’t be able to touch you? I could. I can. I always will. Whenever I will look at the moon, I will see your reflection there. Because I know you would be looking at it to see mine. The moon will act as my mirror to see you. I don’t need to be physically present besides you to be able to bathe in your divine presence. Whenever I feel the breeze on my face, I can feel your touch. The birds chirping outside your window are my sweet dedications to you. The dog that so often crosses your path and follows you is me protecting you from the lurking dangers ahead. It is me keeping a watch protecting the most precious treasure I have. The cat which comes and cuddles close to your legs is me yearning for your touch. The winds, leaves and petals you touch when you reach out to touch me are my messengers. They keep me informed of your every emotion, your every frown, and your sweet nothings. The sleepless nights that you have is my soul talking to yours over the phone. The sound of the ceiling fan whirring is your giggles on my jokes. Your clothes’s sticking to your body because of the sweat is my way of hugging you. I am the rays of the sun that is touching you in a way only I can. When you see strangers greeting you with a smile, it is me wishing you good morning. When you pull that sheet over you before falling asleep, it is my way of kissing you good night.

Where can I ever go Appu? I am always there with you, besides you, for you. In every little thing you do. In your every decision. In your every smile. In your every tear. In your every joy. In your every step. Walking with my fingers entwined in yours. I am there wherever you are. Because from the moment I fell in love with you, I had ceased to be me. I was “you”. And there is no “you” without “me”. There can never be “me” without “you”. A lifetime is not enough for our love. Then why do you fear? Why do you cry? We are meant to be. We are soul mates. We are destined to meet. In every lifetime. We are his most precious creations. He wants us to learn lessons in each lifetime of ours. This lifetime we were destined to learn about pain and parting. Let’s go through this pain with the knowledge that we are there for each other. Let’s go through this pain knowing that we have met our soul mate who even death can’t snatch. Let’s go through this pain knowing that there will be a tomorrow which will belong to “us”. I love you. I am with you. Today….Tomorrow….Forever!”