Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The "VIRGIN" fall......

He barged into our hostel room. I continued looking into my notes. Paying attention to Jogi would mean that I would be drained of the little bit confidence that was left in me. It had become more of an unspoken rule within our group. Shut down your hearing aids once Jogi starts with his arbit. I generally don’t virtually boycott someone to this extent, but with Jogi you simply cant help it. This guy can’t stop raving about his abilities. He is simply in awe about his being “Jogi”! God…..i don’t know if they still make items like him, but if they do….then I can very well relate to the misery of all whom this storm consumes in its wake.

I had only heard about him in my first week at the School of Management. But I had to witness it to believe the phenomenon called “Jogi”. He had topped the “Fainku list” in the very first week of his arrival and according to the forecasting models this guy would be tough to beat in the coming two years. Such were the quality of his stories that you would want to kill yourself. Kill yourself for being a good for nothing mortal before this god’s own incarnation. I had my first brush with the “Great Jogi” when he was holding his “Bike Gyaan” session. The words of Jogi still ring in my ears. I had tried to propogate the social message, “Hearing Jogi is injurious to your logical senses”, for the whole of next month with great success. Jogi in his casual style had remarked how well he rode his Pulsar back home. Vineet had happened to mention how his cousin had slipped while attempting acrobatics while riding the bike and Jogi had taken off from there. “You should take extra care man!! You should only attempt such stuff when you have perfected the fine art of biking. And perfection comes with practice. You will be shocked to hear this, but it is true. I have never had a fall in life. Even when I had just started walking, I was the only child in the neighbourhood who was free of bruises that came with falls. Such was my command over walking and running is what my mother claims. My dad had insisted on me riding the bicycle for the first time with the stoppers on, but would I relent? I took to my cycle and later on to my bike as fish to water. Even to this date, kids of Jhangotia Nagar Housing Colony are in awe of me yaar. Why wouldn’t they be? Where else could they see such great stunts getting performed for free? Ohhhhhh…that reminds of the great stunt I performed last time around. There is a steep slope in our society, friends! I raced up in full speed and jumped off the bike letting the bike go. The bike reached the top, swirled and returned in the while I was descending. I think you will appreciate the calculation I had made which enabled me to be air borne all the while this happened. Also note the skill with which I let the bike go which was coming back to me as if in a trance. In the next second, I was atop it. I had performed this stunt just like that, but was shocked to see the people who had accidentally seen me doing the stuff applauding. It spread like wildfire yaar. As if I was not famous!! This made my getting out of my home for the next few months an impossible task. I would be hounded wherever I went. I can very well imagine the plight of celebrities yaar….your fans murder you with love and adulation!! I so wanted to have my first fall that day…..but alas, it was not to be. Nothing can beat perfection yaar. Sometimes I feel so out of place coz of this yaar…I am soooo perfect man….i donno how!! But I am……hey enough of me, Tell me something about yourself Balu?” I was gaping at him with my mouth wide open. I bet a lot of mosquitoes would have made my mouth their abode that day. I excused myself and left the room. I was in no mental state to tell anything about myself. “Shit man, he is such a big Fainku.”, I thought. “This shithole can go on and on blabbering about him man….God, please save my ass whenever I have to cross swords with this demi-God. Give this mortal strength.”, I was laughing in my room. What was he, Rajnikanth’s reincarnation to real life?? God makes some samples!! A week later Vineet’s message flashed on my cell. I did not know whether to laugh or frown on reading the message. It read like this, “Jogi Bhogi sat on a bike…….Jogi Bhogi whom we don’t like….Jogi Bhogi racing to the cinema hall…..Jogi Bhogi had a great FALL….P.S.: Nothing serious…just a few “Virgin” bruises…cheers!!”

21 comments:

priyanka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ajeesh said...

dude u r funny... i think another thing v share apart from our origin-Kerala... ;-)
just got time 2 read this post, will certainly chk the others 2morrow...

n i really appreciate ur rate of production... hehe

Just 1 question 2 make u better..
dont u think makin ur blog lively wid colorful images/themes wud b a nice option?... even i started with white, but when it comes to long posts, makin it colorful helps retain interest.. what say?

gud goin bro...

KIRAN CABRAL said...

Gud stuff u post

Saritha said...

Extremely funny ...........

Piyush said...

great narration...really liked this one
keep it up..

Mrinal said...

Oyee Balu why is it that i cant recall this jogi ...?? Excellent work buddy...

Sandeep Balan said...

@priyanka: I would try not to keep you waiting for long. Cheers!

Sandeep Balan said...

@ajeesh

Hey...thanx for the encouragement daa...would seriously consider your suggestion and try making it more lively. I think you would see some images coming up soon in the existing posts as well...keep comin back bro....cheers...

Sandeep Balan said...

@ kiran

Thanx a lot for your comment

Sandeep Balan said...

@saritha

Thanx a ton...

Sandeep Balan said...

@piyush

Thanx a lot for that encouragement bro...

Sandeep Balan said...

@mrinal

abhe oye mrinal...long time!! this is more a work of fiction...just a few common traits here and there...

sandhya said...

u r too good with words...the twists u put in keep the reader engrossed...amazing!!

akshika said...

hahahahaha...another of ur master peices... tho honestly sounds more unreal n fiction. even tho it is...still, less believable.. but the SMS was too gd!!!!! enjoyed it thoroughly...

Dan* said...

oh man that was very funny :D:D:D:D

rinzu said...

as i said earlier nice narration...

i dint get lost infact i was in spilts...

oh...!!! ur a mallu... no doubts u write well...

malus are good in everythng they do...

:)

C R D said...

lol. seesm this guy needs to pursue a career in scriptwriting. especially for mithun and rajni movies :P

phekus are all over the place :P

weonce had a guy (a choreographer for the college fashion show) who was late by an hour. his excuse was tht he fell off his bike and slipped into a coma. and came bk as soon as he recovered. and he begged us all to appreciate his dedication :P

alex paul k said...

hey really funny....your sense of humor s amazing(not anothr of dose mallu valips which pple consider as sense f humor).....

cheers

Gagan said...

loll !!!

very nicely presented !!

interesting one !!

I wud say, the best post of ur blog !!!


keep posting ~~ \m/

Me?!? said...

though i kno it wld almost be suicide, wld love to meet this guy!!
incredible!!

i wonder how the world's biggest fainku felt after d 'great fall'??!! he he!!

nice writing!!!
(btw this is maansi. reached here thru d bloggerrati orkut community)

Comfortably Numb said...

ROFLLMAO!
And Jogi still would have said- " No you idiots..I din fall. It was my body double as I was shooting for a Hollywood project with Jolie :P"

I really have a lot of people like that in my college :P

Cheers!