He barged into our hostel room. I continued looking into my notes. Paying attention to Jogi would mean that I would be drained of the little bit confidence that was left in me. It had become more of an unspoken rule within our group. Shut down your hearing aids once Jogi starts with his arbit. I generally don’t virtually boycott someone to this extent, but with Jogi you simply cant help it. This guy can’t stop raving about his abilities. He is simply in awe about his being “Jogi”! God…..i don’t know if they still make items like him, but if they do….then I can very well relate to the misery of all whom this storm consumes in its wake.
I had only heard about him in my first week at the School of Management. But I had to witness it to believe the phenomenon called “Jogi”. He had topped the “Fainku list” in the very first week of his arrival and according to the forecasting models this guy would be tough to beat in the coming two years. Such were the quality of his stories that you would want to kill yourself. Kill yourself for being a good for nothing mortal before this god’s own incarnation. I had my first brush with the “Great Jogi” when he was holding his “Bike Gyaan” session. The words of Jogi still ring in my ears. I had tried to propogate the social message, “Hearing Jogi is injurious to your logical senses”, for the whole of next month with great success. Jogi in his casual style had remarked how well he rode his Pulsar back home. Vineet had happened to mention how his cousin had slipped while attempting acrobatics while riding the bike and Jogi had taken off from there. “You should take extra care man!! You should only attempt such stuff when you have perfected the fine art of biking. And perfection comes with practice. You will be shocked to hear this, but it is true. I have never had a fall in life. Even when I had just started walking, I was the only child in the neighbourhood who was free of bruises that came with falls. Such was my command over walking and running is what my mother claims. My dad had insisted on me riding the bicycle for the first time with the stoppers on, but would I relent? I took to my cycle and later on to my bike as fish to water. Even to this date, kids of Jhangotia Nagar Housing Colony are in awe of me yaar. Why wouldn’t they be? Where else could they see such great stunts getting performed for free? Ohhhhhh…that reminds of the great stunt I performed last time around. There is a steep slope in our society, friends! I raced up in full speed and jumped off the bike letting the bike go. The bike reached the top, swirled and returned in the while I was descending. I think you will appreciate the calculation I had made which enabled me to be air borne all the while this happened. Also note the skill with which I let the bike go which was coming back to me as if in a trance. In the next second, I was atop it. I had performed this stunt just like that, but was shocked to see the people who had accidentally seen me doing the stuff applauding. It spread like wildfire yaar. As if I was not famous!! This made my getting out of my home for the next few months an impossible task. I would be hounded wherever I went. I can very well imagine the plight of celebrities yaar….your fans murder you with love and adulation!! I so wanted to have my first fall that day…..but alas, it was not to be. Nothing can beat perfection yaar. Sometimes I feel so out of place coz of this yaar…I am soooo perfect man….i donno how!! But I am……hey enough of me, Tell me something about yourself Balu?” I was gaping at him with my mouth wide open. I bet a lot of mosquitoes would have made my mouth their abode that day. I excused myself and left the room. I was in no mental state to tell anything about myself. “Shit man, he is such a big Fainku.”, I thought. “This shithole can go on and on blabbering about him man….God, please save my ass whenever I have to cross swords with this demi-God. Give this mortal strength.”, I was laughing in my room. What was he, Rajnikanth’s reincarnation to real life?? God makes some samples!! A week later Vineet’s message flashed on my cell. I did not know whether to laugh or frown on reading the message. It read like this, “Jogi Bhogi sat on a bike…….Jogi Bhogi whom we don’t like….Jogi Bhogi racing to the cinema hall…..Jogi Bhogi had a great FALL….P.S.: Nothing serious…just a few “Virgin” bruises…cheers!!”