Monday, December 28, 2009

Pentagon Speaks - Placements (II)

Hi,

I am the Pentagon reporting from the School of Management. Yes...Yes...we had our first round of introductions in the last post. A lot has happened in the last 10 days. I have become popular amongst you all. I have also featured prominently on Channel V's "Dare to Date" this Friday, supporting the weight of two dumb souls. And all the while I was thinking that I am located in a B-School and could feature only on CNBC's of the world like I have in the past. You can still catch me on the re-runs of the last episode of the show on Channel V till the next one goes on air the coming Friday. So be tuned in to Channel V. For all those who missed, catch the episode HERE. And no, that guy is not from the School of Management. Infact, we don't have a BBA course here! Lies media blurt out for locations!

Things at the School of Management are a bit tensed at present. With the first leg of placements over, and the end terms taking over, we are heading towards the most tense period and the last leg of placements. A relaxed 2010 for some, and a tense, make or break 2010 for the less fortunate souls.

Continuing from where I left in the last post, where I helped categorize students who have been placed/are in the process of being placed into different universal categories, comes my next post. We unraveled the mystery of one category and will lift the veil of a new cateogry in this post. Understanding what goes behind the transformation of these normal batchmates of yours into superheroes. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental

  • Category 2: IT (Impotent Tigers)
The less fortunate. The tensed lot. The dreamers who live a thousand dreams the night before the placement process. But companies need the real thing. Dreams alone do not satisfy a salivating company. This lot is clueless on "How to satisfy" a company and are usually seen taking every bit of advice from the fertile ones. Generally, 40% of every batch suffer from this common disease.

The identity and status of this bunch is revealed on the first night itself. Like in all arranged marriages, where your snaps can transport you all the way to the altar but from there its your ability to please your wife after the ceremonies that determines the course of your married life. This category of students manage to reach the altar to tie the knot with their prospective employer on the swayamvar stage, basis the strength of their CV's. But more often than not, they fizzle out when it c
omes to stamina and style, when the company "makes out"* with them for the first time. (*To be read as "Group Discussions Leg")


Like all heartbroken "would be" rejected prospects, they desperately seek divine blessings and stamina increasing capsules in the form of advises to leave their mark in the rannbhoomi, but the fear of performing when it matters most consumes them in its wake. You can identify the students from this category if you watch out for the following signs:

  • Clean shaven and upbeat on days when the company is on campus, bearded and forlorn look at all other times
  • The one who is there at every process for their friends, and breaks out into wild celebrations the moment the news of their placement reaches him. When alone, curses their good luck and his fate at not being at his place.
  • Looks towards the sky while sipping tea, as if searching for answers from the cosmic being
  • Dialogues like, "I am not worth it", "I am useless", "Mera kuch nahi ho sakta", "Kismat hi footi huvi hain", "What on earth does the company want?", "Why me?", "I was the best out there, still they selected him and not me"
Pentagon's advice to this lot. Don't change your style based on recommendations/advises from the guru's/baba's* of your batch (*to be read as "placed batchmates"). Their tablets won't help you in any way. Use your natural style and be at it. There are companies out there who love impotency. Just wait for your time. The high expectations ones were never meant for dreamers. Those babes are high on maintenance. But yes, keep practicing that start-stop mechanism and see loads of X-rated movies* (* to be read as "Keep yourself updated on current topics by reading newspapers") to build up on the stamina to prepare yourself. Keep yourself oiled for that all important night. Whenever it comes. It will come for sure. Pentagon da promise.

Always remember my words: Impotency can be cured. Pessimism can't.

13 comments:

Ria said...

interesting post!!read ur last post too to get a continuity. Oh so u hav featured in a show too!! cool.

Leo said...

impotency can be cured.. pessimism can't.. hmm. very interesting thoughts! :D

what if a pessimist meets the ultimate optimist? will the pessimist get converted or the optimist? entha saarinte abhiprayam? :D

Sweet Addiction said...

i watched dare to date too. it was fun :P stupidity though

Sandeep Balan said...

@ria: thnx daa. great tht you read the last one as well. I havn't featured on the show, the "Pentagon" has ;-)

Sandeep Balan said...

@leo: when a pessimist meets the ultimate optimist, the third gender is formed :-)

Sandeep Balan said...

@sweetaddiction: I agree. And all the while i thought mine was an MBA college! :P ;-)

Gauri Mathur said...

Yes! Really..Intersting thoughts..
Impotency can be cured.. pessimism can't..
:D :D :D

Shruti said...

I see this category in my college almost everyday ! Ultimate post !
N wat a comparison !.. Tussi gr8 ho :P

Shruti said...

So was dis ur category?? :P
If not, den in d next post,whenever it's applicable, do mention where u fall in ! After all even u belong to 1 of 'em ;) :D

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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